Cliffs

"God's command is enabling. Never has he given an assignment that was not accompanied by the power to accomplish it." -Elizabeth Elliot

So I've officially graduated (or rather, I've been officially graduated, apparently it's something that is done to you). And I feel a little like the rest of this summer is just me stepping closer and closer to the edge of a cliff. Digging my toes in, trying not to look down, but eventually I have to jump (fall?) off.
But I've also been thinking that this cliff eighteen years into my life cannot be the first cliff. There was a precipice the day I lost my first tooth. The day I got lost in Kmart. The day I learned to tie my shoes, the day I put my head under water for the first time, the days my sisters were born. The first day of school, the day I got my driver's license, the day I decided to take taekwando. When my dad became an elder, when we first (and second, and third, fourth, fifth) went to West Virginia, every single cello recital.
These have all been precipices I maybe jumped, maybe fell off. And who am I to say that this present cliff is somehow more important, more significant than the tooth-losing one? Than every other time I was afraid and had to trust, was walking blind and had to trust, was dying to something in myself and had to trust that God would raise me from the dead?
Our lives will always follow that pattern of dying and rising. And I wish I could get used to it, could love God enough to say not "Please be careful" but "Anything for you."

"To whatever he says my answer is Yes." -Elizabeth Elliot

The Back of the World

"Shall I tell you the secret of the whole world? It is that we have only known the back of the world. We see everything from behind and it looks brutal. That is not a tree, but the back of a tree. That is not a cloud, but the back of a cloud. Cannot you see that everything is stooping and hiding its face? If only we could get around in front . . ." (G. K. Chesterton, The Man Who was Thursday)

My mom used to do cross-stitch and she said it reminded her of life because if you looked at the back of the cloth everything was a mess of knots. You could still see colors and vague patterns, could still get a sense of the picture; in fact, if you didn't know there was a front, you could probably convince yourself that that was what the picture was supposed to look like. But then you turn it over.
And sometimes we think we see patterns in this world, in our lives, we think we see colors and shapes and then we despair because it still looks like a mess. And we convince ourselves this is real life. We don't realize we're still on the back of the cloth. And you need all the messy knots, or else there won't be a picture.

"The bitter dealings of the Lord are no more permanent than puppy love." --Lauren F. Winner

Credo

"The Latin credo means literally 'I give my heart' . . . Faith is not about propositions, but about commitment. It does not mean that I intellectually subscribe to the following list of statements, but that I give my heart to this reality. Believe, indeed, comes to us from the Old English belove, making it clear that this too is meant to be heart language. To say 'I believe in Jesus Christ' is not to subscribe to a certain proposition. It is a confession of commitment, of love." --Diana Eck, Encountering God

How God works

'Well, you know, that is how God works,' I say soberly. 'He gave you all these things to trick you into relaxing a little so that in a few years he can really pull the rug out from under you.' " (Lauren F. Winner, Girl Meets God)

Which is exactly how I think most of the time. And it is a really good book, despite the overused title.

Lamentations 3: 22-24

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul,
'therefore I will hope in him.' "

Psalm 81

"Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it."

My Pastor said to think of a baby bird.